First day of school!

                                                   

So Maya started Preschool yesterday and I was a slightly frazzled mom. I'm not the type of mommy who cries on the first day of school ,but then I'm also not the one preparing her, dropping her off, picking her up with her homework and her art projects or conversing with her teacher. These are daddy's jobs and this is what is making me frazzled.

I am the work full time mommy, and to be honest I am feeling a little left out. On Wednesday night before bed, I ran around the house collecting everything Maya was going to need for her first day. I laid out the outfit she was going to wear, packed her backpack and made sure it would be easy to find for Joel in the morning.

About 45 minutes before school started Joel called me at work. He still had his ( I'm clearly not awake yet) voice on.  The conversation went something like this.

Joel: "Um....what am I supposed to do with this I love daddy shirt?"
Me: "That's the T shirt that goes under Maya's long sleeve shirt in case she gets hot while she's playing."
Joel: "Oh"
Me: "And her backpack is already packed with an extra set of clothes and the Hello Kitty she is taking for show and tell."
Joel: "Show and tell?"
Me: "Yeah, remember...Maya has show and tell every Thursday. You'll need to set it in the box  on the counter when you go in."
Joel: " Oh yeah, the Maya box that has all her artwork and stuff."
Me: " No...that's the folder that will be filed outside the door with stuff that needs to be picked up everyday when you leave. It will have her homework"
Joel: "Her Homework?"

This is the part of the conversation where I wish Joel had been paying more attention to the teachers speech at orientation, rather than  giggling and periodically whispering things such as ......

Joel: " Hey" nudge...nudge "check out the ten commandments. Can you read number ten? What does that word mean?"
Me:  Heavy sigh....
Joel: "Hey... what does Sabboth mean?"
Me: Incredulous stare...
Joel: Looking over the class calendar " Oh cool, there's a fieldtrip! I am definantly going to that one!"
Me: Jealous groan.... " I think we should go to the welcome back barbecue on Saturday."
Joel: "Hmmm.... I don't know, It's a dollar fifty per person."
Me: Eye roll, cough into my hand
Joel: " Oh look, free cookies!"

When I went home for lunch yesterday afternoon, Maya came running around the corner with a big smile on her face.  "Hey baby girl! Did you have fun at school today?"   "MmmmHmmmm"  " Oh good, I knew you would have a great time.  Where's da....?  and then I spotted him.

                                                        
Sound asleep on the couch.
I guess mommy wasn't the only one who was a little frazzled.

Mommy vs Daddy

At 6:30 this morning, Maya woke me up asking if she could sleep in our bed. I said "No honey, you need to go back to sleep in your room okay?" "okay mommy" the little voice replies. 10 seconds later I hear Joel say "come here Maya" and then scoop her up on his side and cuddle up behind her.  I'm half asleep thinking WHAT?!?     Then I hear this exchange.... Maya: " I love you daddy "   Joel: " I love you too baby "  
 Oh man, when did the tables start to turn in this direction?

Behind closed doors

One of Maya's favorite games to play around the house is lock that door. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to head into a bedroom or the bathroom for instance, and face plant into a wooden wall when it doesn't open. Recently however, Maya has mastered the craft of locking and un-locking the doors in the house, giving our 3 year old daughter far beyond too much power. This came as a surprise to my husband last week, when during "adult" time in our locked bedroom, Maya suddenly made a guest appearance. Ooops! Mommy forgot to mention that Maya may have observed her unlocking a door the other day, with a random coin and now she has started collecting all the loose change around the house and calling them her "keys". This girl has officially become the

key master.

Suddenly I am dealing with having to find whole new ways to get any privacy. Does anyone else feel like a bad parent for using large or heavy objects to barricade their bedroom door? Please tell me other people have to do this too. Our kid has just gotten too smart for her own good. I was prepared to accept that Maya will exceed me in height for sure (My genes are that of a tiny people) but at the rate she's going, it looks like she may surpass me in problem solving skills as well. She's like freaking Macguyver up in here...it's ridiculous!

     So the other day I was home from work and Maya started getting a little cranky around noonish. She stopped taking naps during the day at around two and a half (sigh) but every now and then it becomes pretty apparent that she needs one and this afternoon was no exception. She did not take the news well.

Maya: "I can't go night night...I'm not tired!"  

Me: "Well guess what? You are and so is mommy so let's go" 

We spent the next 20 minutes playing our typical routine of cat and mouse...kisses, goodnight, close the door, yell at Maya to close the door and get back in bed...."Yes it's bedtime, no you don't have to go potty again for the 5th time in 3 minutes!!! get back in bed please!" If i wasn't exhausted when the routine began, I am by the time she finally goes to sleep. Some nights I get lucky and there is minimal fuss....lately, not so much. This particular day however, she floored me. The last time she got up to yell at me from her doorway (and complain about the baby gate we have resorted to putting up in the hallway)...

Maya: " I don't like this mommy...I don't want this here!"   

Me: "OK Maya, go to bed now"

AND THEN   

In a very angry voice....Maya: " OKAY! GOOD....NIGHT....MOMMY!!!

Cue Maya's 1st ever.... door slam.

It wasn't very loud, because she isn't very big but the drama and overall effect were. she was looking right at me when she did it... I was stunned. I didn't know whether to think it was cute (Which of course it kind of was) or be concerned for the years to come. I knew that look too, it was the same look I used to give my mom when I thought she was being unfair. But at three!?! They can act like this at three!?! I can already envision all the tween and teenage fights. All the doors that will be slammed in the future. The name calling, the resentment, the hating my guts because I just don't "get" her.

(sigh)

"I better have the Xanax ready" I thought.

So, last night, after going potty and brushing our teeth and story time, Joel and I said our "good nights" and our "I love yous" and shut the door. Then Joel turned off the light in the hallway and went back to whatever he was doing, while I got into bed. Our bedrooms are directly across from each other, so if both doors are open, there is a clear view from one bed to the other. I normally leave mine open so I can make sure Maya stays in her room (plus I prefer a little outside light in the room, due to me not being the biggest fan of the dark). About 30 seconds after curling up, I heard Maya's door open. I rolled over to catch a glimpse of her turning the hall light on, then running back into her room and hopping into bed... leaving her door wide open. I sighed, rolled back over, pulled the blanket up to my chin and went to sleep. I may not be able to keep her from growing up so fast, but I can still pick my own battles.

Why didn't I think of this?

Obviously these parent's are professionals.

All you need is love

                                           Joel and I had a heart to heart on Saturday.
                                    He told me his wants and needs and I told him mine.
                                     It turned out, both of our list's included each other.
                                        It was a liberation to finally lay everything out.
                                                                       And now....
                                                      We are both feeling the love.

              Thank you to the people who have been so supportive of me. I love you guys!