First day of school!

                                                   

So Maya started Preschool yesterday and I was a slightly frazzled mom. I'm not the type of mommy who cries on the first day of school ,but then I'm also not the one preparing her, dropping her off, picking her up with her homework and her art projects or conversing with her teacher. These are daddy's jobs and this is what is making me frazzled.

I am the work full time mommy, and to be honest I am feeling a little left out. On Wednesday night before bed, I ran around the house collecting everything Maya was going to need for her first day. I laid out the outfit she was going to wear, packed her backpack and made sure it would be easy to find for Joel in the morning.

About 45 minutes before school started Joel called me at work. He still had his ( I'm clearly not awake yet) voice on.  The conversation went something like this.

Joel: "Um....what am I supposed to do with this I love daddy shirt?"
Me: "That's the T shirt that goes under Maya's long sleeve shirt in case she gets hot while she's playing."
Joel: "Oh"
Me: "And her backpack is already packed with an extra set of clothes and the Hello Kitty she is taking for show and tell."
Joel: "Show and tell?"
Me: "Yeah, remember...Maya has show and tell every Thursday. You'll need to set it in the box  on the counter when you go in."
Joel: " Oh yeah, the Maya box that has all her artwork and stuff."
Me: " No...that's the folder that will be filed outside the door with stuff that needs to be picked up everyday when you leave. It will have her homework"
Joel: "Her Homework?"

This is the part of the conversation where I wish Joel had been paying more attention to the teachers speech at orientation, rather than  giggling and periodically whispering things such as ......

Joel: " Hey" nudge...nudge "check out the ten commandments. Can you read number ten? What does that word mean?"
Me:  Heavy sigh....
Joel: "Hey... what does Sabboth mean?"
Me: Incredulous stare...
Joel: Looking over the class calendar " Oh cool, there's a fieldtrip! I am definantly going to that one!"
Me: Jealous groan.... " I think we should go to the welcome back barbecue on Saturday."
Joel: "Hmmm.... I don't know, It's a dollar fifty per person."
Me: Eye roll, cough into my hand
Joel: " Oh look, free cookies!"

When I went home for lunch yesterday afternoon, Maya came running around the corner with a big smile on her face.  "Hey baby girl! Did you have fun at school today?"   "MmmmHmmmm"  " Oh good, I knew you would have a great time.  Where's da....?  and then I spotted him.

                                                        
Sound asleep on the couch.
I guess mommy wasn't the only one who was a little frazzled.

Mommy vs Daddy

At 6:30 this morning, Maya woke me up asking if she could sleep in our bed. I said "No honey, you need to go back to sleep in your room okay?" "okay mommy" the little voice replies. 10 seconds later I hear Joel say "come here Maya" and then scoop her up on his side and cuddle up behind her.  I'm half asleep thinking WHAT?!?     Then I hear this exchange.... Maya: " I love you daddy "   Joel: " I love you too baby "  
 Oh man, when did the tables start to turn in this direction?

Behind closed doors

One of Maya's favorite games to play around the house is lock that door. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to head into a bedroom or the bathroom for instance, and face plant into a wooden wall when it doesn't open. Recently however, Maya has mastered the craft of locking and un-locking the doors in the house, giving our 3 year old daughter far beyond too much power. This came as a surprise to my husband last week, when during "adult" time in our locked bedroom, Maya suddenly made a guest appearance. Ooops! Mommy forgot to mention that Maya may have observed her unlocking a door the other day, with a random coin and now she has started collecting all the loose change around the house and calling them her "keys". This girl has officially become the

key master.

Suddenly I am dealing with having to find whole new ways to get any privacy. Does anyone else feel like a bad parent for using large or heavy objects to barricade their bedroom door? Please tell me other people have to do this too. Our kid has just gotten too smart for her own good. I was prepared to accept that Maya will exceed me in height for sure (My genes are that of a tiny people) but at the rate she's going, it looks like she may surpass me in problem solving skills as well. She's like freaking Macguyver up in here...it's ridiculous!

     So the other day I was home from work and Maya started getting a little cranky around noonish. She stopped taking naps during the day at around two and a half (sigh) but every now and then it becomes pretty apparent that she needs one and this afternoon was no exception. She did not take the news well.

Maya: "I can't go night night...I'm not tired!"  

Me: "Well guess what? You are and so is mommy so let's go" 

We spent the next 20 minutes playing our typical routine of cat and mouse...kisses, goodnight, close the door, yell at Maya to close the door and get back in bed...."Yes it's bedtime, no you don't have to go potty again for the 5th time in 3 minutes!!! get back in bed please!" If i wasn't exhausted when the routine began, I am by the time she finally goes to sleep. Some nights I get lucky and there is minimal fuss....lately, not so much. This particular day however, she floored me. The last time she got up to yell at me from her doorway (and complain about the baby gate we have resorted to putting up in the hallway)...

Maya: " I don't like this mommy...I don't want this here!"   

Me: "OK Maya, go to bed now"

AND THEN   

In a very angry voice....Maya: " OKAY! GOOD....NIGHT....MOMMY!!!

Cue Maya's 1st ever.... door slam.

It wasn't very loud, because she isn't very big but the drama and overall effect were. she was looking right at me when she did it... I was stunned. I didn't know whether to think it was cute (Which of course it kind of was) or be concerned for the years to come. I knew that look too, it was the same look I used to give my mom when I thought she was being unfair. But at three!?! They can act like this at three!?! I can already envision all the tween and teenage fights. All the doors that will be slammed in the future. The name calling, the resentment, the hating my guts because I just don't "get" her.

(sigh)

"I better have the Xanax ready" I thought.

So, last night, after going potty and brushing our teeth and story time, Joel and I said our "good nights" and our "I love yous" and shut the door. Then Joel turned off the light in the hallway and went back to whatever he was doing, while I got into bed. Our bedrooms are directly across from each other, so if both doors are open, there is a clear view from one bed to the other. I normally leave mine open so I can make sure Maya stays in her room (plus I prefer a little outside light in the room, due to me not being the biggest fan of the dark). About 30 seconds after curling up, I heard Maya's door open. I rolled over to catch a glimpse of her turning the hall light on, then running back into her room and hopping into bed... leaving her door wide open. I sighed, rolled back over, pulled the blanket up to my chin and went to sleep. I may not be able to keep her from growing up so fast, but I can still pick my own battles.

Why didn't I think of this?

Obviously these parent's are professionals.

All you need is love

                                           Joel and I had a heart to heart on Saturday.
                                    He told me his wants and needs and I told him mine.
                                     It turned out, both of our list's included each other.
                                        It was a liberation to finally lay everything out.
                                                                       And now....
                                                      We are both feeling the love.

              Thank you to the people who have been so supportive of me. I love you guys!

These are the days

Today is my dad's very last day of work ever. After today he will be officially retired. God help us all. Tonight, providing dad doesn't accidentally walk into an empty elevator shaft or become the unlucky recipient of a piano falling out somebody's window.....we will be celebrating with a fancy dinner and one of those super oversized congratulations greeting cards. I can't wait! Have an awesome weekend everybody!

Books you should be reading ....and why i'm afraid of the dark

Most of the time, when I find myself watching a movie based on a book that I have read, I wind up likeing the book version better. This is because in my head I am able to make the characters and the story mine and my "in my head" version is infinitly cooler than any actor or special effects can portray on film. Sadly, in this day and age, people rarely read books anymore...and if they do, their not even reading the story from an actual book but an e-book or a Kindle or a Nook. (I had to google these names, since I don't have one myself and would refuse to use it if I did, since I actually really enjoy the feel of a "live" book in my hands.) Anyway...when I first started my job at this new location (about a year ago) I was coming from a very fast paced office and had NO IDEA what I was going to do with all my new found down time. I tend to get the reading bug in waves, where I will go through a period of reading numerous books one after another, until I get burned out and have to take a reading hiatus. Needless to say I did A LOT of reading during the first couple of months. This a list of some of my favorites from the the past. I know most people don't have a lot of free time on their hands these days...but If you get the chance, I highly recommend the following. 

1. Life of pie by Yann Martel

2. Love in the time of cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

3. The princess bride by William Goldman

4. The twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

5. Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

6. Candy Girl by Diablo Cody

7. The shadow of the wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

8. Island of the blue dolphins by Scott O' Dell

9. The "bug man" series by Tim Downs

10. She's come undone by Wally Lamb

11. A million little pieces by James Frey

And the reason why at almost 30 I am still  afraid of the dark...

Passing strange: True tales of New England hauntings and horrors by Joseph A. Citro

(Seriously...Just leave a light on okay? I'm just sayin)

Blah Blah Blogging

The last couple of months at work have been slow. Slower than usual (I blame summer)and because I work in an office by myself, you can imagine that I have a lot of down time. This is both a blessing and a curse. I love that I can read, write, think about life and have genuine ME time, without the interuption of family or a toddler constantly in my face. On the other hand...I get very lonely. Sometimes I will come home at the end of the day and just NEED to talk to another human being. To hear the sound of my own voice or someone else's. We're talking desert island lonely here...and I've never been a chatterbox so, yeah, kind of a big deal. I am however a Very patient person. My mom used to tell me stories of how she would come across me reading or coloring alone in my room for hours at a time just hanging out. I don't think their are many people who would have the type of patience needed for this job. Which leads me to how and why I started blogging.

Recently, I discovered some of my facebook friends blogs and became addicted. I started reading blogs from their blog rolls and finding other awesome blogs from them. Some are heartfelt and heartbreaking, most are mommy bloggers telling it like it is and then a precious few are so damn funny, I found myself laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't breathe. Trust me when I say that rarely happens for me, so of course I find myself visiting daily and praying each morning (during my new routine of visiting my favorite blogs) that there is a new post to read. I hate having to wait days at a time. I have become impatient to read new material (I'm like a crack addict looking for my next fix) and I adore finding new and witty writers to follow. And OMG there are alot of them out there. Everyone seems to have a blog and everyone has something to say. For a girl who's favorite thing to do throughout adolescence was write and dream of one day making a living of it, I think this is Awesome!

I am amazed at the amount of followers some of these writers have, but i realize the time and effort that goes into these people's work to make that happen. I have no interest in gaining a gazillion (yes this a word...google it yo)readers for this blog. My mission is to will myself to start writing again and insert trumpeting horns here be EXCITED about it. I think this is the perfect time... aka, when my seemingly simple and non chaotic life is becoming anything but...writing will be my therapy. ( Hey, it's a hell of a lot cheaper than that moron  psychiatrist we were paying) Oh yeah...this is gonna be fun :)

Frenemy

Supposedly first coined by Walter Winchell in the 1950s when as a reference to Russia, it's now used when describing a person who is both your friend AND your enemy. Someone you--admittedly--love or like (or just respect) but also someone whose presence brings with it incredible stress and chaos. Consistently. Every time you're around them.

Glass says that despite the unhappiness such people bring into our lives, it's difficult to walk away from a frenemy. To completely "quit them".
This is especially true when, for instance, you have a child with this person. Is it better for two people to stay together for the sake of a child? or does the effect's of staying in a lousy relationship have an even greater effect on the kids?

My daughter is only 3 years old, but for the last week she keeps coming up to me, putting her hand on my shoulder and asking "what's wrong mama?" This of course just kills me. Is it really that apparent that mama's unhappy? Has she been asking daddy questions like this? Actually, I doubt that she would, given that daddy doesn't seem at all fazed that mommy is upset and probably (at least as far as I've seen) not acting any differently at all. How can men be so thick headed? I think my husband is utterly clueless when it comes to women. The truth is WE ARE BOTH UNHAPPY...the question now is...where do we go from here? And for the love of baby jesus... what resolution will have the least negative effects on our sweet daughter.

Falling

I think i may be falling out of love. I'm not sure how it happened but lately...things are just different. Not different good, different bad. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this and I don't even know that I'd want to. I feel like i'm stuck in a room with the lights out and grasping wildly for a door handle. The problem is I don't know which is worse, being stuck in this room alone or facing whatever's on the other side of that door.

Baby Poker

I do, on occasion, very unfortunately... have to poke babies. I know...I know it's awful BUT poking babies is nothing compared to little people who Know what's about to happen. Drawing blood from little kids never bothered me as much BEFORE I had one of my own. A co-worker and friend who had once worked in the post natal ward at a very large hospital, told me the best thing to do is look at their little arms like a completely De-attached limb. Whatever you do don't look at their little crying faces... because then it will be too hard. It took me a long time to figure out the fine balance of calming a child, getting the job done the 1st time (this is an important for everyone involved)and making it the very best experience it can be, so as not to traumatize said child for life. I have also learned that probably, the one most crucial factor to drawing a child's blood, is making sure mom and dad are okay. After all, these are the people who are going to remember. I have witnessed many a new mom who were more traumatized by the experience then the new baby. I do my best to be calm, professional and supportive with every parent and child. That said... I had a mom and her 5 yr old daughter in yesterday for blood work, to identify if the daughter had any allergies. She was so cute and bright as a whip (what does that mean anyway?) and she happily jumped up into her mom's lap, while they talked about what kind of ice cream they were going to have afterwards. I explained everything I was going to do BEFORE I did it and the mom did an excellent job of holding her little arm still. Just before I poked her i heard her mom whisper "now remember what we talked about and crying is OK but please don't scream honey, cause your screams tend to be pretty ear piercing." 30 seconds later... cute little girl becomes ear drum piercing, bomb explosion, glass shattering screamer and I have become completely, if not permanently deaf. I say half heartily but not at all jokingly "wow, you weren't kidding about that scream!" "no" she sighs "no i wasn't" and I instantly feel overwhelming, deep pity for this woman. Yes, her little girl may someday grow up to be a world famous opera singer, theatre performer or wind instrument player but my god those lungs DO NOT belong on a 5 yr old! Perhaps you could say it is the little things I am thankful for... like how my toddler can throw tantrums with the best of them... but cannot, for example, project her disapproval across an entire football field! And FYI... I did regain the majority of my hearing after about 5 min. Once the ringing stopped and the tears had been wiped away, mom and daughter got up to leave and it was then, I realized there was a twin brother hiding out around the corner. Banshee wailing, twin wielding, full time mom... Your One Of Us! And thank you for choosing our laboratory today :)

Hello Boobies!

Grouchy,abrasive, deaf, flatulent, comical, free spirited and opinionated. Elderly patients are my favorite for a number of reasons, and I just happen to be in luck, because most of my patients are over the age of 65. There is a wealth of wisdom to be learned from these kind strangers.



Sometimes I will meet a loving couple who have been married at least 4 or 5 decades longer than myself and I'll ask "what's the secret?" "Communication" said one. "Alone Time" said another. My favorite answer came from a small and frail but articulate elderly woman who looked deeply into her spouses eyes and said "friendship".



Then of course there are the "I'm too old to give a crap anymore" people. The ones who will charge right in like they own the place and (in their minds) they do. No waiting for me! I've already waited 60 years for this "Golden" age...I don't have forever you know.



Stories about their youth and the people they have come to know over the years. Where they were and what they were doing during important periods of history. Alot of times all they really want is an ear to listen and this has become an important part of my job too.



Of course, anyone who spends their day's around an older group knows very well how hilarious they can be. I am not talking about the ones who tell the same lackluster jokes over and over again (mostly because they have forgotten they ever told you that one in the first place) Damn dementia! But the ones who have tried it all, done it all and have left sane and rational behind them long ago. I'm talking about the behavior and the wisecrackings of the so called "Nudies".
Once, after a long and exhausting day, I called back a lovely old woman to have a seat in my Phlebotomy chair. While i was focused on collecting my supplies and thinking about my plans for after work (apparently off in my own little bubble) I turned to find my cheerful patient half naked with her shirt dangling like a necklace around her neck and her arm stretched out neatly for me to use. The first thing I noticed though (and have come to realize about the general female geriatric population) was the lack of underwear aka NO BRA. Her small, sagging, shriveled breasts were free to enjoy the open air. To dance in the breeze, to stake claim to their freedom. These breasts were old and tired and had moved on from any type of worldly restraints long ago. They had retired to a state of uninhibited bliss... and they were less than 8 inches from my face. I kept my composure of course ( I AM a proffessional after all) but of course the entire time I could think of nothing but those floppy ta ta's and the surprising amount of jealousy I felt towards them. At what age do you get to start making up your own rules about etiquette? Can just say that's enough!...no more to any of lifes little annoyances? Whatevers easier, nobody cares anyway! Is it before or after you become eligible for Medicare? I did not get the memo! I realize, now that i have a toddler of my own, that the way we look at life when we are 3 is really no different than the way we will look at the world at 80. And this makes getting old, maybe just a little bit easier to bear. Because someday (God willing) I too will get to go out in public sans underwear, splash food I'm eating down my shirt, throw tantrums when I don't get what I want (or have to wait for ANY amount of time without my coffee) and crap my pants at will in my cushioned grown up diaper :) So to those free swinging boobies I salute you! Because with age comes wisdom ...and apparently the ability to say I just don't give a crap :)

Definition Of A Phlebotomist

phle·bot·o·my 


–noun,plural-mies. Medicine/Medical.
the act or practice of opening a vein for letting blood as a therapeutic measure; venesection; bleeding.

phle·bot·o·mist

–nounSurgery.
1.
a specialist in phlebotomy.
2.
a nurse or other health worker trained in drawing venous blood for testing or donation.

When I grow up I want to be....

An actor, dancer, professional singer, stand up comic, model, zoo keeper and PHLEBOTOMIST? Ask any little girl or boy what they want to be when they grow up and the answers aren't usually that surprising. I've heard astronaut, ballerina, doctor, veterinarian, horse trainer, firefighter...you name it kids want to do it. What you don't expect is that they want to be all of these things at the same time. If we as adults find it difficult to multitask in the short amount of time given in the average day, I can't imagine how these little prodigies plan on working these extreme lifestyles out. Of course, when your 6 the realities of these comical imaginative's are pretty much nil. When your a child the whole world is your playground and anything that you can imagine is attainable, if not completely possible (even if your only desire to become a fireman is because you heard your friend jimmy's dad gets to play with hoses all day) As a Junior or Senior in High school for example, if asked the same question, i would be willing to bet the answer would be slightly less excitable. Most 12th graders have already set plans in motion for the College they plan to attend or the job they want to do after school is over... but the real question still remains "What do I want to do with my life?" I happen to know real grown ups who still don't have an answer to that question. Some people never know quite what they want to be when they grow up because what works (and pays the bills) at the moment, may not continue to play out in the future... and this my friend is a very scary thought indeed. It is the fear of the unknown and although to some this may seem rather exhilarating, for people like me, the thought has always scared the pants right off! Holy cow...look at em go! So when I was 20 and traveling the US after opting out of school for awhile (Never liked homework!!!) and a friend of mine asked me that very same question, my immediate response was of course "what do you mean? Aren't I doing something right now? What is this Career you speak of? I'll probably just get married and be a mom for the rest of my life." Seemed to work out just fine for my mom. And let's face it people what job could ever be more rewarding than raising and nurturing our very own angelic offspring? Now skip 3 or 4 years down the road and after my umpteenth job in retail and complete lack of weekend social life I realized I wanted more. I wanted a desk with my own pictures on it. My own computer. A simple 9 to 5 with NO weekends. Maybe even know my schedule more than a week in advance. There was an end in sight IF I was willing to motivate myself and actually put more effort into education than I was willing to in High School. Heck...I could do better than a B average, especially if I actually Attended on a regular basis. lol. So I went to school and became a Medical Assistant. (still medical field but without the weekends:) Sadly however, even before the recession began, It was difficult to find work. I applied all over the Peninsula. I thought I presented myself well and did awesome in interviews, but they always opted for someone with more experience and that someone was never me. Then by the grace of god I got hired by a Large company specializing in Phlebotomy and I've never looked back. I do plan on one day continuing my education and specializing in some other part of the medical field, but for now I still love what I do, love the patients I serve, love the people I work with and who could really ask for more than that? And that wife and mother goal I had set for myself....yeah, I got that too :)