Behind closed doors

One of Maya's favorite games to play around the house is lock that door. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to head into a bedroom or the bathroom for instance, and face plant into a wooden wall when it doesn't open. Recently however, Maya has mastered the craft of locking and un-locking the doors in the house, giving our 3 year old daughter far beyond too much power. This came as a surprise to my husband last week, when during "adult" time in our locked bedroom, Maya suddenly made a guest appearance. Ooops! Mommy forgot to mention that Maya may have observed her unlocking a door the other day, with a random coin and now she has started collecting all the loose change around the house and calling them her "keys". This girl has officially become the

key master.

Suddenly I am dealing with having to find whole new ways to get any privacy. Does anyone else feel like a bad parent for using large or heavy objects to barricade their bedroom door? Please tell me other people have to do this too. Our kid has just gotten too smart for her own good. I was prepared to accept that Maya will exceed me in height for sure (My genes are that of a tiny people) but at the rate she's going, it looks like she may surpass me in problem solving skills as well. She's like freaking Macguyver up in here...it's ridiculous!

     So the other day I was home from work and Maya started getting a little cranky around noonish. She stopped taking naps during the day at around two and a half (sigh) but every now and then it becomes pretty apparent that she needs one and this afternoon was no exception. She did not take the news well.

Maya: "I can't go night night...I'm not tired!"  

Me: "Well guess what? You are and so is mommy so let's go" 

We spent the next 20 minutes playing our typical routine of cat and mouse...kisses, goodnight, close the door, yell at Maya to close the door and get back in bed...."Yes it's bedtime, no you don't have to go potty again for the 5th time in 3 minutes!!! get back in bed please!" If i wasn't exhausted when the routine began, I am by the time she finally goes to sleep. Some nights I get lucky and there is minimal fuss....lately, not so much. This particular day however, she floored me. The last time she got up to yell at me from her doorway (and complain about the baby gate we have resorted to putting up in the hallway)...

Maya: " I don't like this mommy...I don't want this here!"   

Me: "OK Maya, go to bed now"

AND THEN   

In a very angry voice....Maya: " OKAY! GOOD....NIGHT....MOMMY!!!

Cue Maya's 1st ever.... door slam.

It wasn't very loud, because she isn't very big but the drama and overall effect were. she was looking right at me when she did it... I was stunned. I didn't know whether to think it was cute (Which of course it kind of was) or be concerned for the years to come. I knew that look too, it was the same look I used to give my mom when I thought she was being unfair. But at three!?! They can act like this at three!?! I can already envision all the tween and teenage fights. All the doors that will be slammed in the future. The name calling, the resentment, the hating my guts because I just don't "get" her.

(sigh)

"I better have the Xanax ready" I thought.

So, last night, after going potty and brushing our teeth and story time, Joel and I said our "good nights" and our "I love yous" and shut the door. Then Joel turned off the light in the hallway and went back to whatever he was doing, while I got into bed. Our bedrooms are directly across from each other, so if both doors are open, there is a clear view from one bed to the other. I normally leave mine open so I can make sure Maya stays in her room (plus I prefer a little outside light in the room, due to me not being the biggest fan of the dark). About 30 seconds after curling up, I heard Maya's door open. I rolled over to catch a glimpse of her turning the hall light on, then running back into her room and hopping into bed... leaving her door wide open. I sighed, rolled back over, pulled the blanket up to my chin and went to sleep. I may not be able to keep her from growing up so fast, but I can still pick my own battles.

Why didn't I think of this?

Obviously these parent's are professionals.

Baby Poker

I do, on occasion, very unfortunately... have to poke babies. I know...I know it's awful BUT poking babies is nothing compared to little people who Know what's about to happen. Drawing blood from little kids never bothered me as much BEFORE I had one of my own. A co-worker and friend who had once worked in the post natal ward at a very large hospital, told me the best thing to do is look at their little arms like a completely De-attached limb. Whatever you do don't look at their little crying faces... because then it will be too hard. It took me a long time to figure out the fine balance of calming a child, getting the job done the 1st time (this is an important for everyone involved)and making it the very best experience it can be, so as not to traumatize said child for life. I have also learned that probably, the one most crucial factor to drawing a child's blood, is making sure mom and dad are okay. After all, these are the people who are going to remember. I have witnessed many a new mom who were more traumatized by the experience then the new baby. I do my best to be calm, professional and supportive with every parent and child. That said... I had a mom and her 5 yr old daughter in yesterday for blood work, to identify if the daughter had any allergies. She was so cute and bright as a whip (what does that mean anyway?) and she happily jumped up into her mom's lap, while they talked about what kind of ice cream they were going to have afterwards. I explained everything I was going to do BEFORE I did it and the mom did an excellent job of holding her little arm still. Just before I poked her i heard her mom whisper "now remember what we talked about and crying is OK but please don't scream honey, cause your screams tend to be pretty ear piercing." 30 seconds later... cute little girl becomes ear drum piercing, bomb explosion, glass shattering screamer and I have become completely, if not permanently deaf. I say half heartily but not at all jokingly "wow, you weren't kidding about that scream!" "no" she sighs "no i wasn't" and I instantly feel overwhelming, deep pity for this woman. Yes, her little girl may someday grow up to be a world famous opera singer, theatre performer or wind instrument player but my god those lungs DO NOT belong on a 5 yr old! Perhaps you could say it is the little things I am thankful for... like how my toddler can throw tantrums with the best of them... but cannot, for example, project her disapproval across an entire football field! And FYI... I did regain the majority of my hearing after about 5 min. Once the ringing stopped and the tears had been wiped away, mom and daughter got up to leave and it was then, I realized there was a twin brother hiding out around the corner. Banshee wailing, twin wielding, full time mom... Your One Of Us! And thank you for choosing our laboratory today :)