These are the days

Today is my dad's very last day of work ever. After today he will be officially retired. God help us all. Tonight, providing dad doesn't accidentally walk into an empty elevator shaft or become the unlucky recipient of a piano falling out somebody's window.....we will be celebrating with a fancy dinner and one of those super oversized congratulations greeting cards. I can't wait! Have an awesome weekend everybody!

Books you should be reading ....and why i'm afraid of the dark

Most of the time, when I find myself watching a movie based on a book that I have read, I wind up likeing the book version better. This is because in my head I am able to make the characters and the story mine and my "in my head" version is infinitly cooler than any actor or special effects can portray on film. Sadly, in this day and age, people rarely read books anymore...and if they do, their not even reading the story from an actual book but an e-book or a Kindle or a Nook. (I had to google these names, since I don't have one myself and would refuse to use it if I did, since I actually really enjoy the feel of a "live" book in my hands.) Anyway...when I first started my job at this new location (about a year ago) I was coming from a very fast paced office and had NO IDEA what I was going to do with all my new found down time. I tend to get the reading bug in waves, where I will go through a period of reading numerous books one after another, until I get burned out and have to take a reading hiatus. Needless to say I did A LOT of reading during the first couple of months. This a list of some of my favorites from the the past. I know most people don't have a lot of free time on their hands these days...but If you get the chance, I highly recommend the following. 

1. Life of pie by Yann Martel

2. Love in the time of cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

3. The princess bride by William Goldman

4. The twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

5. Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

6. Candy Girl by Diablo Cody

7. The shadow of the wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

8. Island of the blue dolphins by Scott O' Dell

9. The "bug man" series by Tim Downs

10. She's come undone by Wally Lamb

11. A million little pieces by James Frey

And the reason why at almost 30 I am still  afraid of the dark...

Passing strange: True tales of New England hauntings and horrors by Joseph A. Citro

(Seriously...Just leave a light on okay? I'm just sayin)

Blah Blah Blogging

The last couple of months at work have been slow. Slower than usual (I blame summer)and because I work in an office by myself, you can imagine that I have a lot of down time. This is both a blessing and a curse. I love that I can read, write, think about life and have genuine ME time, without the interuption of family or a toddler constantly in my face. On the other hand...I get very lonely. Sometimes I will come home at the end of the day and just NEED to talk to another human being. To hear the sound of my own voice or someone else's. We're talking desert island lonely here...and I've never been a chatterbox so, yeah, kind of a big deal. I am however a Very patient person. My mom used to tell me stories of how she would come across me reading or coloring alone in my room for hours at a time just hanging out. I don't think their are many people who would have the type of patience needed for this job. Which leads me to how and why I started blogging.

Recently, I discovered some of my facebook friends blogs and became addicted. I started reading blogs from their blog rolls and finding other awesome blogs from them. Some are heartfelt and heartbreaking, most are mommy bloggers telling it like it is and then a precious few are so damn funny, I found myself laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't breathe. Trust me when I say that rarely happens for me, so of course I find myself visiting daily and praying each morning (during my new routine of visiting my favorite blogs) that there is a new post to read. I hate having to wait days at a time. I have become impatient to read new material (I'm like a crack addict looking for my next fix) and I adore finding new and witty writers to follow. And OMG there are alot of them out there. Everyone seems to have a blog and everyone has something to say. For a girl who's favorite thing to do throughout adolescence was write and dream of one day making a living of it, I think this is Awesome!

I am amazed at the amount of followers some of these writers have, but i realize the time and effort that goes into these people's work to make that happen. I have no interest in gaining a gazillion (yes this a word...google it yo)readers for this blog. My mission is to will myself to start writing again and insert trumpeting horns here be EXCITED about it. I think this is the perfect time... aka, when my seemingly simple and non chaotic life is becoming anything but...writing will be my therapy. ( Hey, it's a hell of a lot cheaper than that moron  psychiatrist we were paying) Oh yeah...this is gonna be fun :)

Frenemy

Supposedly first coined by Walter Winchell in the 1950s when as a reference to Russia, it's now used when describing a person who is both your friend AND your enemy. Someone you--admittedly--love or like (or just respect) but also someone whose presence brings with it incredible stress and chaos. Consistently. Every time you're around them.

Glass says that despite the unhappiness such people bring into our lives, it's difficult to walk away from a frenemy. To completely "quit them".
This is especially true when, for instance, you have a child with this person. Is it better for two people to stay together for the sake of a child? or does the effect's of staying in a lousy relationship have an even greater effect on the kids?

My daughter is only 3 years old, but for the last week she keeps coming up to me, putting her hand on my shoulder and asking "what's wrong mama?" This of course just kills me. Is it really that apparent that mama's unhappy? Has she been asking daddy questions like this? Actually, I doubt that she would, given that daddy doesn't seem at all fazed that mommy is upset and probably (at least as far as I've seen) not acting any differently at all. How can men be so thick headed? I think my husband is utterly clueless when it comes to women. The truth is WE ARE BOTH UNHAPPY...the question now is...where do we go from here? And for the love of baby jesus... what resolution will have the least negative effects on our sweet daughter.

Falling

I think i may be falling out of love. I'm not sure how it happened but lately...things are just different. Not different good, different bad. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this and I don't even know that I'd want to. I feel like i'm stuck in a room with the lights out and grasping wildly for a door handle. The problem is I don't know which is worse, being stuck in this room alone or facing whatever's on the other side of that door.